I mean, my friends don’t.” Lili covers her face with both hands. “I don’t know, I was being a dumbass, and—okay.” She gives a short, muffled moan before pulling her hands away. “I have to tell you something.” between her best friends and her sister, imogen scott knows who she is: the picture perfect queer ally. but her best friend, lili, has told her new queer college friends that they used to date. when imogen puts on the bi label for the act, she finds it fitting more than she ever thought it would. but she’s straight, right? I was so excited for them to get together, and because of the way the book was set out, it didn’t feel rushed or anything. Which is also fantastic. I love everything about this,” I say, settling onto Lili’s bed. “Ha—thanks.” Lili plops down beside me. Then she stares straight ahead for a moment without speaking. “Okay, we gotta talk,” she says finally.

Oh! Oh no. Scott—Scotty. Hey.” She hugs me, and I bury my face in the spot where her chest meets her shoulder. “Don’t listen to the pink-haired girl, okay?” Her invalidation of Imogen’s sexuality, and literally anyone else who didn’t fit her rigid structure is harmful. And I know that Gretchen is the epitome of every single person – queer or not – out there who says and does these things to queer people to invalidate them and their feelings, but gosh did it make me want to just shake her shoulders and tell her to chill out.We better go save him.” Tessa bumps her own fisted hands together. “Imogen, are you ready to experience culinary perfection?”

There were a few things I struggled with in the story, however. For one, I think the big baddie gatekeeper did have a few valid points. There is no right or wrong way to be queer, and you should NEVER invalidate someone's sexuality, but there is something to be said for queer people getting to tell their stories or have their opinions heard in queer spaces. I think it's very true that you shouldn't make assumptions about people or their sexuality/gender identity, but I think that to frame the gatekeeper character (I won't say names to avoid spoilers, but it's pretty obvious) as sort of the villain isn't fully okay either.but it’s not always that—it’s scary, full of people who think they know you. who want you to always match the version of you they know. people who amplify the voice inside you that pushes you down. it hurts when that voice not comes from inside you, but someone you love. she pauses. ‘you know. if you ever had something you wanted to tell me, i could make space for that too.” when i was starting to understand my sexuality, i had a queer best friend. i started with the label “not straight.” my best friend was pan. as they told me about their queerness, explained their label to me, i borrowed it for a while, trying it on to see how it fit. i didn’t keep it, but it was nice to have been given to me for just a while. I’m sorry, no. Kara Clapstone doesn’t need to set her coming-out timeline according to your weird parasocial entitlement.” What are some of your other favorite queer stories that you’d recommend for listeners who loved Imogen, Obviously ?

It’s not that.” Lili frowns. “Not exactly? I just feel like such a baby queer sometimes. I’d only been out for three months when I got here.” And god — the romance?? ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. I loved how real everything felt, from the jokes to the texts to the little details and discoveries they made about each other. Everyone in the friend’s group was a gem and I could honestly read more about them all. Imogen was precious and I just wanted her protected at all costs. And Tessa! Oh my. What a sweetheart. If only everyone could have their first crush/significant other be like Tessa. Like when Lili drops a tiny queer bombshell: She’s told all her college friends that Imogen and Lili used to date. And none of them know that Imogen is a raging hetero—not even Lili’s best friend, Tessa. Tessa’s so close, but I press in closer, and she lets out the softest-edged sigh. Her hands trail the hem of my waterlogged shirt, and I swear it feels like taking off sunglasses. Clarity and brightness.sometimes i put off reading a book if i feel it’ll hit too close to home. this wasn’t the case. i knew it would hurt and it did. very much so. but i dived in anyway. more than anything it eased something in my soul, the way every single albertalli book has. I’d say the most direct reference to my own experience happens around the middle of the story, during a conversation about an actress who came out after years of criticism and scrutiny. Unfortunately, I had many recent real-world examples to draw from here. Imogen reflects upon a few of them—I don’t reference them by name, but I think a lot of people will recognize some of these particular moments and controversies. It felt important to recognize the broad impact of this scrutiny. Imogen has no personal connection to this fictional actress, but she’s deeply affected by this discourse—just like my own listeners were affected by the discourse about me. Like when Lili drops a tiny queer bombshell: she's told all her college friends that Imogen and Lili used to date. And none of them know that Imogen is a raging hetero--not even Lili's best friend, Tessa. It's like there's this idea that you have to earn your label through suffering. And then you have to prove it with who you date, how you dress, how other people perceive you.

It’s not that I didn’t want a boyfriend. I did. I do. I fall in and out of crushes all the time. It’s just not something I talk about much—I don’t even get into the specifics with Gretchen and Lili. Crushes have always felt viscerally private to me. I know that’s weird. It’s definitely sort of lonely. But I don’t think being single ever made me feel inadequate.

I wish this book had been even longer! I didn't want it to end. It was so cosy and comforting and important, it has claimed such a special place in my heart. in most versions of the imogen, obviously blurb i see, we talk about tessa. tessa, a new friend of lili’s who imogen develops a crush on. “one girl can’t topple your entire sexuality, right?” Throughout the book, Imogen repeatedly describes herself as a people pleaser, someone who is liquid and will just form to the people around her, and someone who overthinks. And oh boy, she was not wrong about all of those things. i loved the small confidence imogen started growing as she started hanging out with tessa more. her awakening felt so real. i thought the author pulled off writing the relationship development through a span of a week, and imogens feelings for tessa felt so realistic. the relationship itself is so soft and wholesome. it’s of many firsts for imogen, but it’s also slow. imogen starts off thinking of tessa only as a friend, but the more she hangs out with her and texts her (the text messages were so cute!), she starts questioning why suddenly her heart is beating faster, why she’s feeling butterflies in her stomach, why she’s accepting her invitation to a party, why she’s feeling shy and blushing when in front of her. the romance is a pretty big part of the story, and it’s not something i would consider a side plot. i think the awakening itself and imogen coming to terms with sexuality goes hang in hand with the romance itself. neither felt like it was overpowering the other, and because i’m a romance reader first and everything else second, i loved this approach by the author. it made the story easier to get into and relationship easier to root for.