Cock Piss Partridge - Alan Partridge Mens T Shirt

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No! "Monkey Tennis"? There is to be no second series, and I've listened to your ideas, I've listened to them all, - and I haven't liked a single one. Alan: You know what this room says to me? Aqua. Which is French for water. It’s like being inside an enormous Fox’s Glacier Mint, which again to me is a bonus.

Throughout the questions I will be remaining impartial at all times. I will remain Pontius Partridge. Alan: We take fat people from the inner cities, put them in big nappies and then get them to throw each other out of a circle that we draw with chalk on the ground. A-haaa!" (LYNN) What if Tony Hayers sees "Cook, Pass, Babtridge" painted on your car? (ALAN) Don't worry, Lynn, I'll play it down. Lynn: Alan, that was Tony Hayers office on the phone, they’ve put the meeting forward to 12:30 today. Alan to Room Service: Hi, erm, can I have an Irish coffee delivered to the room please? No? Right. Tea? Erm, can of Fanta? Minibar, no I’ll get it myself.Michael: What I’m saying is that, like if they had themselves proper jobs you know, what there ‘gan ’til, then they wouldn’t ‘dee it. A lot of them’s from broken homes. Smell my cheese! - Alan, please! - Smell my cheese, you mother! - I think that's quite enough, thank you! I've got cheese! This is cheese! Bloody BBC! What are you doing? Haven't you programmes to make? No, you're all on the BBC gravy train! I wish I was. Alan: Well there you go, they taught you a trade. Minor repairs. [Lift door begins to close on Alan]

Alan to his listeners: Kate Bush there, the lovely Kate Bush. With The Man With The Child In His Eyes. Which brings us on very neatly to my next guest. Mr Stephen Brai, who’s father invented Cats Eyes. Stephen, what was it like living with the… being the son of the man who invented Cats Eyes. Alan: People want to err… did he ever turn all the lights off in the house and run towards you with a torch, hoping to try and catch the reflection in your eyes?Tony: Erm, Alan, this is Peter Linehan he’s revamping our current affairs outputs. [Alan really doesn’t care and shrugs his shoulders to make the point] Alan: Abandon that, Lynn, it’s not working. Ok, doomsday scenario. You, Tony Hayers, have decide not to give me another television series. Why? Be tough. Lynn: Things have to be compartmentalised, Alan. For example, in this drawer. [Lynn opens a drawer and notices some pornographic material]. You erm. You have things. And erm, sometimes you have too many things.